Tuesday, October 11, 2011

some days you just feel like a burnt bread


Do you know this feeling?  This feeling of being just like Kogepan, a cute, yet very burnt, bread.  

Things have been really crazy, and now, in the middle of it all, I'm left feeling like poor Kogepan.  I'm not really sure what happened...October was looking pretty manageable, then bam!  Insanity.  Work has been crazy busy as we've been short-staffed and seemingly endless deadlines are drowning everyone.  As my co-worker cried out yesterday evening, '..... I just want my life back ....!'  

For the past few weeks, every day's hours seem to fly by and I have no idea where the time goes.  And then, it just feels like there's never enough time for everything.  Good to be busy, not good to feel like we're just rowing around in a circle because we only have one oar.  Ha. 

Things just feel really endless right now, and it's not helping that I have a ton of stuff due on Thursday so it feels like a big weight on top of me.  I'm hoping that after that day, I can breathe a big sigh of relief.  It'd be nice to get my life back in order considering there are a lot of things coming up, too.  It's totally not helping that my hormones are out of control this week (hello, weepy emotional mess), Matt ran off to Arizona for his annual (and very unfortunate) trip, and I've been feeling super homesick lately.  Not sure why, maybe because things feel crazy and I miss that "stability" that only home can bring.  I felt so crazed for a taste of home that I made a really bare bones/cheat version of hot and sour soup tonight with random things I had lying around.  It really hit the spot in a way, but also made me more nostalgic.  Whoops.

There are some fun things to look forward to coming up, if I can survive until this weekend.  The firm's Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Light the Night Walk in Woodland Hills is next weekend (the Hollywood Walk on Oct. 1 apparently went very well) and of all things, apparently the Woodland Hills Walk is carnival themed!  As in, carnival games and the works.  Could that be any more perfect, considering Matt's love for such games?  Rumor is that we might even have our own game booth but no official word yet.  Hopefully it won't be something like a dunk tank...  After that, my parents come to visit for USC Parents Weekend and considering the current state of things (see above), this couldn't be coming at a better time.  It'll be good to be able to catch up and spend time with everyone - as even Matt's parents are planning to come down that weekend so we can all go to California Adventure and Disneyland together, yay!  I've felt like such an absentee daughter lately ... or, well, absentee everything.  I have a few days off in November, and before you know it, it'll be Thanksgiving and Christmas!  I love that *magical* feeling of the holidays, and really, I sure could use some of that magic right now!  I'm really looking forward to getting back on the right track and feeling 'normal' again.  Even if just a little bit.  (I spent some time last weekend knitting a portion of a jumbo version of the knitted monkey pattern, and it was so fun!  Felt good to just release some stress/tension.)

But, it's one day at a time for now and I really need to keep reminding myself.  And you know, if going to USC has taught me anything, it's that you just have to keep fighting on every day, good or bad, rain or shine :)  So let's not forget it!  Here are some reminders: