Wednesday, April 6, 2011

hello again

It's been more than a month since I last wrote, and it really sucks that I've been gone so long so I promise not to do that again, ok?  Things have not gone as planned, or even as I would've thought, since the Bar was over.  I had such big dreams, looking forward to all the things that I could do again--crafts, cleaning, reading, relaxing...But then a whole slew of bad news happened both during and right after the Bar, and on top of it all, I've been battling through a bout of sudden alopecia!  I've never experienced this before, and dealing with the rapid hair loss and confusion has been pretty scary.  Even though it's not life threatening at all, it's still been hard on my self esteem to deal and understand how or why this is happening to me and hoping to recover soon.  Thankfully, my bloodwork came back mostly normal, so it's definitely nothing serious.  However, it sucks to know that most likely, the extreme stress, lack of sleep, and bad nutrition over the past few months have contributed to my sudden and extreme hair loss.  There's really nothing to prepare you for watching your hair shed continuously and so suddenly.  As much as you don't want to stress more about it, you still can't help it.  Alopecia's a jerk that way.  You don't know how much hair you're going to lose, whether you'll go bald, whether you'll re-grow hair, or whether it'll happen again (and how many times again) months, years down the line.

For now, I'm trying to stay positive.  Although I can obviously tell how much hair I've lost and I notice how thin it all is when I look in the mirror, for now, people can't really tell I don't think.  I have some wigs on hand just in case and shedding had lessened this week--less stress or maybe there's less hair on my head to shed, haha, I'm not sure.  Well, until work got super swamped and I've been a little overwhelmed since yesterday, so now my scalp feels like it's on fire again and I've shed more than I'd like today.  This definitely proves to me that the hair loss is related to my stress levels.  Now I need to relax!  

But, I have enjoyed doing more cooking and trying to eat healthier during the past few weeks.  I've been making a lot of tasty meals and trying to eat lots of fruits and veggies, so my tummy is definitely happy.  I've learned that what's important is not to sweat the small stuff and just enjoy life!  It was totally not worth it to get caught up in a lot of that dumb stuff before if I knew it could cause my body to shut down like this.  Realizing this has made me a lot happier and I try to keep this mindset day in, day out.  I'm hoping (and hopeful) that once my body balances itself out, my hair will start growing back and I'll be back to normal.  Even now, I see little growths of hair here and there, although not consistently yet and definitely not all over.  Lesson learned that we all really need to take better care of ourselves, ok? 

There are some fun things to look forward to, including the fact that tomorrow is actually my birthday!  I've been so busy and caught up in things that I almost forgot, can you believe, haha.  I'm looking forward to a relaxing night--my Chicago Bulls are taking on the Boston Celtics at the United Center so I'm looking forward to watching that game on TNT.  Most of my nights lately have been spent watching basketball games (it's almost playoff time!) and just lying around watching Nick at Nite.  Love it!  I've also been practicing and teaching myself more how to knit--the other night, I finally taught myself the magic loop method in knitting and I am IN LOVE.  It makes everything so much easier.  I have so many awesome patterns that I can't wait to work through.  Right now, I'm working on a knitted monkey pattern from the fabulous Rebecca Danger of  I have a bunch of her knitted monsters patterns that I can't wait to tackle, too!  I miss being crafty and I miss Etsy, but I hope knitting will tide me over for now and help me unwind every night.  Hopefully I'll be back to my old self before I know it and I can get my Etsy shop going again in a few months.  That's the plan for now.  But I just want to fill my life full of knitted monsters and friends at this point!  I'll document my progress and share it with you as I go along :)

As for any other birthday celebrations, Matt will return this weekend so we'll figure something out to do.  There was some talk about dropping by Disneyland on Friday night with Josh and Daf for dinner and hanging out, so that might happen.  I like my birthday celebrations really low key so I'm not wanting or expecting anything big.  The following weekend, we'll be going to an art show that Matt's mom is in, and Easter weekend, I'm dying for a trip to San Diego to see our San Diego Zoo friends!  There have been a bunch of babies born in the recent weeks, including a baby girl giraffe and two baby boy tiger cubs, that I'd like to see.  The Zoo is also celebrating Play Days during the month of April, where there are a lot of animal interactions and fun things happening.  Matt and I both happen to have Good Friday off, so it'd be a great weekend to get away.  Especially when the next 2 weeks or so are super busy at work.  Fun stuff!

My tummy is rumbly now so it means it's time for food!  But it feels good to be back in the blog world...definitely more fun and happy blog posts to come in the near future :)  There are just too many adventures out there to be had!

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